It's Just the Wind

"It's just the wind," she said as she gazed out the window at the kitchen sink, in response to John, her husband, who was wondering if she had said something. John had been outside for a short time, more than likely he had been working on some ongoing project he had. She returned her gaze back out the window and idly wiped the counter for the 10th time wondering again             Meetme how long she could stand living so isolated from everything and everyone including that man who had left; leaving her here to live, for her stability and security was linked to John.

 

They had been married already 20 years with one child, a daughter, who was now living back at home with her own child, Jacob. It was a small house, situated up on a hill and located on a quiet country dirt road. A road rarely used except by those attempting to use a shortcut to the nearest town, a road whose very nature of twists and turns kept many from buying land to build or moving there. The countryside was beautiful with fields stretching as far as the eye could see and a river twisting along near her house. EliteSingles.com Many nights she lay in bed, wide-awake and listened to the river moving along, leaving the country and pouring into the larger river in the village. She envied the river water, with its waters capability to leave the quiet.

 

John asked her again "what's wrong, why are you so quiet" and with her head turned away she answered, "Nothing, I just can't get this spot off the counter". Uncontrollably her eyes filled again with tears, her heart and soul aching with the longing for other people, laughter, and him. She missed him so much; she wanted to drop into a deep hole and just hide there. However, she needed to hide her pain as she attempted to do every day when the family was around her and clambering for attention. Most days, unlike this one, they did not notice her silence, her pain because life for them was full and busy. As long as she did her chores and answered cheerfully, nobody really noticed.

 

"I just love the quiet with nothing to listen to but the birds and crickets, it is so peaceful", John said taking a sip of his coffee. He smiled and walked down the hallway to his room, a place where he took refuge, where he could watch television or surf the internet in peace and quiet. Only when Jacob said "granddad, a ride. A ride in the big blue truck" Tubit.com review, did he smile and take him by his tiny hand outside for the coveted ride that Jacob wanted. He did that now, leaving her to be alone with her thoughts, in the unbearable quiet of a beautiful fall morning. Her tears fell freely now, unchecked. Down her cheek and onto the counter like glistening drops of dew they fell. She sobbed uncontrollably; feeling the isolation engulf her very soul, letting the pain of his absence wash over her, though out her very existence.

 

He had decided to leave two days ago, without her having any way to prepare. The night he left, they met as they had for months after work, for the short, precious time they could be together before she had to get back home. He wanted to talk to her, he said. She loved their conversations, about life and love, what they both wanted out of life, how to be happy. This night however was different, he had a faraway look on his face and something in her mind told her it was not good news. He took her hands in his own and said, "You know I love you and I always will," Tears started to slide down his cheeks, "but I think it's time to leave, as much as I hate to, but I feel it is necessary to leave for your own good and your family's". "The longer I stay the more danger we are in to be discovered, making things bad for you, destroying the security you have." "You know I have nothing to offer you, to keep you secure". Her face froze in a smile. She could not speak, it was as if her throat had closed, rendering her speechless. He continued, tears flowing down his face, "You know I never wanted to hurt, I only wanted to love you, but as long as you are tied to him and that house, we will never be together. She stared at him, willing herself not to cry, to hold it together and said, "I love you with all my heart and I do understand, and you don't have to worry about me, I will be fine" She did not want him to feel guilty or sad. She wanted to, as she did with everyone, protect him, make him feel better. A dull ache started in her chest, as if her heart was slowly breaking, leaving a void there. He pulled her close to him, holding her in his strong arms while they both silently grieved for what they had together and what they would lose.